


i will never write an obligatory song about being on the road and missing someone (even though they're right next to me)

by pumpkinsonly



Series: Beetlelands Week 2020 [1]
Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Beetlelands Week 2020, Multi, Paranormal Investigators AU, Recreational Drug Use, one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26332543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinsonly/pseuds/pumpkinsonly
Summary: “That’s it?”Beetlejuice snorts. “Yes,that’s it. You think this is a fucking hotel?”(Beetlelands Week 2020 Day One: One Bed)
Relationships: Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland
Series: Beetlelands Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913485
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30
Collections: Beetlelands Week 2020





	i will never write an obligatory song about being on the road and missing someone (even though they're right next to me)

**Author's Note:**

> my entry for day 1 of beetlelands week 2020, prompt is 'one bed' <3
> 
> this is based off of @gender-chaotic on tumblr's paranormal investigators AU! this is a bit of a prequel to [the other fic i wrote for it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528772) (which actually fully realizes the one bed trope, lol)
> 
> [also using this faceclaim for barbara!](https://n3v3r-trust-th3-living.tumblr.com/post/626535912384430080)
> 
> title is a reference to a say anything song
> 
> **CW for recreational drug use (weed)**

“That’s it?”

Beetlejuice snorts. “Yes, _that’s it_. You think this is a fucking hotel?”

Adam has the humility to duck his head at least. “No — sorry — it’s just. Different.”

“I know,” Beetlejuice says. “But it’s not that bad. Better than your parents, eh?”

“Yes,” Barbara answers before Adam can even open his mouth. “Yes. Thank you, Beej.” She gives him a quick side hug before hopping into the van. “Oh, it’s not bad. C’mon, Adam!”

She reaches out a hand for Adam, one the other man tries not to take too hesitantly. Her chipped nail polish glints in the last few minutes of sunset before she pulls Adam in next to her.

Beetlejuice shuts the door behind them, walking around to the driver’s side and getting in. The van starts up fairly easily, if a bit noisily, and they’re on their way.

It doesn’t take long for Barbara to plop into the passenger seat. “Where’re we headed?” she asks.

Adam pops his head right in between them, his hand finding a place in Barbara’s own. Beetlejuice doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but he can feel the imploring look Adam’s giving him.

“Gotta get some weed, then food ‘nd gas, and then I’m tired so we’re stopping for the night.” He shoots a look at Barbara. “That good?”

She nods. “Yeah. Where, uh — if you don’t mind me asking — where do you usually go?”

Beetlejuice deliberates on whether or not to answer. He doesn’t know how long these two are staying with him. He doesn’t _think_ they would turn around and betray him, not like they have anyone to go to, but he’s been burned before. He takes another look at Barbara. There’s a hole in her already age-worn cardigan, letting the brown skin on her shoulder peek through. Her boots are scuffed, the rough leather of them a stark contrast to the delicate lace trimming her dress. His eyes shift to Adam before focusing back on the road. Still looking up at him with probably not on purpose but still very effective puppy dog eyes.

“My dealer lives outta town. Should be about thirty minutes. There’s a good gas station on the way back, we can stop there. That sound good?”

“Yeah,” Barbara says. “Sounds good.” She leans back into the seat, eyes closing as the sun slips below the tree line. Adam keeps holding onto her, thumb rubbing slow circles into her skin. Beetlejuice keeps his eyes on the road, steadfastly ignoring the warm feeling blooming in his chest.

—

Beetlejuice blows a last tendril of smoke out of the window. Barbara had retired to the back seat after dinner, no doubt cuddling up with Adam. Beetlejuice lets himself relax. He’d found a good spot to spend the night in. An off season campsite let them be surrounded by trees, free from peering eyes, and the outhouses were only a two minute walk away. Pretty damn good, in his book.

It’s later, almost eleven, and Barbara and Adam have remained pretty quiet. He hears a few words here and there, hears the clicks and clatters of some of Adam’s tech-y things.

He empties the ash out of his pipe, closing it and the little baggie with his remaining weed in the glovebox. 

“You two tired?” He turns around in the driver’s seat. It’s a bit difficult due to his height, but he’s facing the couple eventually. He was right about the cuddling — Barbara’s head is laying in Adam’s lap, her fingernails tracing light shapes onto her knee. Adam is relaxed above her, fiddling with what looks like a voice recorder.

“Yeah,” Barbara yawns. “You want me to open up the back for you?”

Beetlejuice cocks his head. “What? No, you can just hop over the seat into the back.”

Barbara sits up, brushing her dress out over her knee again. She’d taken her cardigan off at some point and folded it neatly on the seat next to her. She squints at him. “But, um. You’re sleeping back there? That’s your bed.”

Beetlejuice scoffs. “Nah. You two are the couple. Get back there and — cuddle, or whatever you two do, just _please_ don’t fuck with me in here.”

Adam lets out an affronted noise while Barbara just laughs. “No, Beej, we’re not taking your bed. You were nice enough to let us stay with you, I think this is the least we can do in return.”

Beetlejuice just rolls his eyes. “Whatever. You can sleep where you want.” He pulls a lever on the side of his chair, the seat falling back. “I’m sleepin’ right here. Take it or leave it.”

Barbara’s eyebrows furrow at him, but they quickly soften. She reaches out a hand to ruffle his hair, Beetlejuice yelping and moving back as she does. “Aw, I get it. You’re a huge softie. So _sweet_ for letting us sleep back there!”

Beetlejuice lets out a noise akin to a growl. He points a finger in Barbara’s face. “I — _No_ — No, no. I’m being _nice_. You two are, y’know, together. Not gonna make you sleep apart ‘cause my fat ass wants to take up a whole mattress.”

Barbara just laughs, Adam looking a little harried from their back and forth. “I know, I know. I’m messing with you, Beej. Thank you.”

“Yeah, thank you,” Adam pipes up. “We really appreciate — well, everything.” He’s quick to hop in the back, Barbara following him after a quick nod to Beetlejuice. 

There’s a beat of silence, clothes rustling as the two get settled. Then — “Hey... you know, Adam, it’s pretty roomy back here.”

“It is? I think it’s only like a full sized —” Beetlejuice hears the noise of skin on skin and Adam’s now muffled talk quickly dies off. 

“Yeah! _So_ big, amirite. Another person could probably fit back here with us!”

“No,” Beetlejuice says curtly.

Barbara lets out a huff from the back. “Fine. Have it your way, Beej. Adam and I will be cuddling the night away!”

“Have fun, nerds.” Beetlejuice tucks himself in tighter against the window. It’s too humid for a blanket in midsummer Conneticut, let alone cuddling. Plus, who would want to cuddle with a couple? Hello, third wheel speaking. 

They aren’t even that cute anyways. Barbara with her sun-kissed coils, strands of curly hair framing her face perfectly. Deep, gorgeous skin that seems to soak up sunlight and radiate it from within. Or Adam, muscles flexing under his button down, dimples on freckled cheeks as he smiles.

Nope. Not cute at all. He does _not_ want to share a bed with them.

…That’s what he tells himself, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> find the creator of this au on tumblr @gender-chaotic they're a sweetheart <3
> 
> find me on tumblr @seizetheday-o and find more beetlelands week @beetlelandsweek!!


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